are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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