love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
