I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
