It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
