please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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