shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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