All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
