You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
