well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize