Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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