ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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