Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
