Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it's great music for shaving your balls
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
