had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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