Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Randomize
