If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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