An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm too high and old for this...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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