thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
