Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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