He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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