i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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