I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
