can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
