in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
