Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
