is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
