So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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