Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
