That's intense
Plan B is the new Plan A
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
