Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
