Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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