so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
