This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize