I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
