Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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