So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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