I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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