Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
