I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
