When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
