Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
