i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize