I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
