Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
