No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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