he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
