I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
