do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
