Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize