Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
