I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
