I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
