Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize