I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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