Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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