Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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