No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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