Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
