with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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