Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
