i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
