I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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