how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
