paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
