"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
