The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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