i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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