That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
