I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
